00:16 So you're thinking of having another baby and you're a little, a little nervous about adding, adding to your current chaos, adding another family member.
00:28 It's a, it's a big deal. And this is one of the most frequently asked questions is the transition. Sometimes the questions freeze, like, which transition was hardest?
00:41 Like going from one to two, from two to three, or maybe from zero to one. What, what was harder? Or maybe what's the best age gap to have if you want multiple children.
00:57 And I wanna get into all of that because I have a lot to say about it, . But first, welcome back.
01:03 Thank you for tuning in. This is the year Glowing podcast, and I hope you leave today with a little, a little bi, a little bit , a little burst.
01:11 I say bit and burst, a little burst of inspiration, motivation, and you just feel a little glowier like, let's just sit up straight right now.
01:19 Let's just, how's your posture doing mine? Just then before I said that was not good. So we're setting up a little straighter.
01:26 We're gonna drink some extra water in this next 20 minutes, and we're gonna feel better at the end of this.
01:34 Okay. Little update. Let's see what's going on over here. This is the time of year. We've, this is only our second like winter, spring transition time, but last year at this time we had a lot of visitors.
01:48 This is the time of year where our family up north is cold. They are tired. It is dark up there.
01:54 It is wet and sad. . So we get a lot of visitors this time of year. Family, friends, they're like, can I come stay?
02:02 We're booking a flight. Are you free this weekend? So we have people staying with us right now. Some friends are in town.
02:09 Justin's dad's coming to town. So that's what's going on in our household, which also I do wanna add, when you're hosting as a parent and you're hosting other people, it is, for me, it's so challenging.
02:23 Like, I, I mean, I love it. I want people to come. I miss our friends and family. I'm always o open door, like, you guys can come anytime.
02:30 We've moved across the country, so we want to see you. And we will always be , almost always be available for guests, right?
02:37 But it, it is so ha like I feel like I'm struggling to like keep a tidy household with three kids and like the laundry going and the food in the fridge and all that stuff with just us.
02:49 So when other people come, I'm like, oh my gosh. I feel, I'm like, oh, do you have clean towels? Let me get you an extra set.
02:55 It's not a five star. Stay with me. All right? But you're gonna have fun and it's gonna be loud, but you are gonna make some memories.
03:02 Might be up at six in the morning when the girls are screaming, but it's gonna be a good time. So that's what's going on our house.
03:10 Netflix recommendation for you here. I've got one that I wanna share. It's called, and you've probably already seen it, the Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker.
03:17 It's a documentary. It's, it's a quick watch, but it's based off of like the first meme that happened in 2013, which I don't remember it.
03:28 I mean, I don't remember it. Justin remembers it. But it's about the Hitchhiker who was part of an accident and the guy was trying to hurt somebody and the, the hitchhiker stepped in with a hatchet and hit the guy and was like, smash, smash, smash.
03:42 And he was, he was quoted on the news saying, smash, smash, smash. So that became like this huge internet meme.
03:48 And then he grew internet famous really fast, like in a couple months. And he was kind of like this nomad, like just homeless, living on the streets, or what do you say, like straight outta dog town surfing, skateboarding.
04:01 Like, he's just like this fun young, carefree hitchhiker. But he ends up killing somebody and it's really interest, like it's, I I wish they did another deep dive documentary and they like interviewed him or something, but they, they do show lots of clips from like 2013 when it all happened.
04:18 Like a lot of his three months of fame were documented because there was a huge interest in him. So I, and I wish I heard about the story when it happened, cuz I feel like it would've been even more interesting to watch.
04:30 But having not heard of him and just seeing the preview on Netflix, I was like, we have to watch this.
04:35 My sister and I and Justin all watched it together and we were like, wow, that was entertaining. So that's my recommendation for the week.
04:45 Skincare. Oh my gosh, I have been slacking on my eye gels. I just, with Blake being in a cast and like our mornings are looking a little different now with visitors.
04:55 Like it's, I need to get back on that. I miss my eye gels. Oh, I can like feel them on my face right now.
05:01 I miss it. I'm still using that vitamin C serum from Tula Loving it. It's Brightening serum and the probiotic gel cream moisturizer from Dime.
05:12 That combo feels so good. And beauty sleep from Tula at Night Code Kimari saves you Aula. And then for Dime it's Perry 15.
05:23 Sometimes they bump it up and they, but they change my code too and it goes to Perry 20. So you might have to try it out.
05:31 Or maybe I'll put it in the show notes when I confirm it. Those are how to save on skincare. And then the last thing I wanna share, I've been loving this recovery drink from rookie.
05:42 Now, you know, I was a huge fan of Liquid Ivy. I still have it in my house. I'm just not drinking it a ton.
05:50 I am kinda like not concerned about the sugar in it, but I'm, I've been open to a world of other products with way less sugar or zero sugar in it.
06:01 So I'm like, well, let me give them a try and I'm really liking 'em. So I use the element, which is a mineral.
06:10 It's basically really salty. It's salty water . And you're probably like, that sounds disgusting. I mean some like, sometimes you can't really taste it, but a lot of the time you can.
06:20 One of the flavors I like from them is raspberry. And it reminds me of raspberry crystal light. I used to drink that like a fiend when I was living at home with my mom.
06:29 Crystal light raspberry. Oh my gosh, it tastes exactly like that. There's no sugar in it. I think it's sweetened with Stevia.
06:36 You can taste a little tinge of the salt, especially if you don't mix it well, . But it's also really good for replenishing your electrolytes and keeping you hydrated on a cellular level.
06:49 And then I found out rookie came up with their own, they sent it to me. Recovery it has BCAAs, which is great for muscle recovery, post-workout, and also just mom life.
07:02 Hello. Like, we're sore , we are tired. We are doing a lot of physical things as moms and even during pregnancy.
07:10 And then it has a, an electrolyte blend of minerals in there, which are again gonna help you hydrate at the cellular level.
07:16 I don't, I can't remember, I'm holding a packet right now. I'm in the car. I'm coming to you from my cart ride.
07:22 So thank you for coming with me today. Buckle up. Here we go. . No, but this it tastes so good.
07:28 They have a coconut pineapple flavor. 10 outta 10. I am a lover of tropical flavors. I don't know if it has anything to do with my love for the beach, but I love coconut.
07:38 I love pineapple. Pina colada is my jam. So, so good. And then a watermelon lime flavor that tastes like watermelon bubble.
07:46 So good. I am drinking like two packs of this a day. Again, speak with a healthcare, your healthcare team if you are pregnant or breastfeeding and wanting to add any supplement, not just like a drink mix, but multivitamin, whatever, it's always great to run it by them.
08:02 And that is my little update of the week. I hope you had a great week last week. We're gonna get into this transition talk.
08:09 Okay, transitioning. Transitioning. I'm gonna tell you about of my story and how I felt during needs transition. And then I'm gonna explain what I now know.
08:22 , let's get into it. All right. Zero to one. I was so ready to be a mom. I was so ready to birth my baby and hold her in my arms and care for her.
08:34 And it came so naturally, which is not normal. I feel like a lot of moms struggle or they're like, am I doing this right?
08:42 Is she okay? Is he, is he, is he breathing? Like lots of worry concern, which is again, that is more normal for someone to be overly cautious with, with their firstborn.
08:54 I was overly comfortable with her. I felt like I just knew, I just knew her more than anything. . And it's, it's crazy.
09:04 But I love, I love that experience I had with her and I love that motherly instinct that I feel just like kick in.
09:11 I don't know if it has anything to do with the fact that my sister did have two children before I had ala so I got to see a lot of like the newborn stuff.
09:22 So it might have something to do with that. And also, wait, I do wanna add this in here when I'm gonna have to do an episode where I talk about my labor stories, because those are very different and interesting.
09:32 But when I, when Ala came out of me , when she exited her womb, I did not feel connected to her.
09:40 I was like, who is this? Who is this baby? Who are you? Like that was my first thought. Isn't that weird?
09:47 But it came so naturally caring for her came so naturally and that transition was very smooth for me. I was already kind of living like, I think the transition is hard for a lot of us because our lifestyle, what we were doing before, it's gonna look, you can do the same things like if you like to travel when you were pre-baby, you can still travel as a mom.
10:11 It's just gonna look a lot different. It might have more challenges, there might be a lot more preparation involved, right?
10:18 If you're gonna go away for the weekend, do you need a sitter? Do you have to hire somebody? Do you have to pay somebody?
10:24 Do you have to like pump and have a freezer stash? You know, like you have to think about all of these things.
10:30 Like how is your baby gonna be cared for when you're not there? Right? Or your baby's coming with you, great, but what do we need to pack?
10:38 Where are we going? Is this resort kid mom friendly? Like, am I gonna be able to pump at the airport and nurse at the air?
10:45 Like where are we staying? What is the itinerary? So it just takes a lot more thought. Can it be done?
10:52 Absolutely. Is it gonna look different? Yes, . So I wasn't traveling a ton honestly, before I had Ayla, I wasn't I mean I was kind of over going out at night.
11:07 Like I liked going to bed early. I liked being home. I'm a homebody. I didn't mind that transition. For me it was more like the transition I had to deal with was like how much time things take, right?
11:19 Like getting ready to leave the house. And even just like running into a store. There's no such thing as running into a store with a baby.
11:27 Like you have to plan it according to their nap schedule, their nursing schedule. Even now as like a toddler mom, like you've gotta mentally prepare to go in the store and have to tell them, no, we can't buy this.
11:40 Or , whatever it might be. Like, are you carrying them? Are they going in the car? Are you bringing the stroller?
11:46 Like they're, it's just different. But regardless, I was ready for that transition. So zero to one, I felt good confident we got this.
11:58 Then we had Rosie Ayla was two years and two months old. So 26 months. Age gap. Two years. Two months.
12:12 And it was interesting because Ayla was in the process of potty training. Number one, she was also going through some like independent my body choice type things.
12:28 Like she didn't wanna wear clothes for a month after Rosie was born. And I, it's hard to tell like, did this happen because of the baby sister and this is her way of like handling things or is this to like a normal two-year old?
12:45 She could care less about a new baby. You know, I don't know. Is it subconscious? Is it intentional? I don't know.
12:53 But she did act out a little bit. Like there was, she didn't wanna be put into her car seat. She went through a phase of that.
12:58 That was really hard. And she also didn't wanna be put into her crib at night. That was really tricky. But I, I mean, parenting two kids going from one to two, I felt prepared for it.
13:13 Again, like I remember having a couple times where I was like, this is really hard. Like, I cannot help Ayla when I'm breastfeeding.
13:25 I'm breastfeeding a newborn. I'm trying to get a toddler to pee on the potty at the same time. And I haven't showered in two days.
13:33 Like I just, it, it's hard. But I, I'm like, maybe that's part of the transition, right? Like there is a transition period.
13:40 And I think that's important to remember. It's not just like a smooth like, or a day long process of like, okay, let me bring this newborn home and get used to having two kids now or we're in the flow, okay, next.
13:53 Like, it doesn't happen that quickly. Like you have to find a flow. You have to be in the transition time to figure out, figure it out.
14:03 What's gonna work for you? What is your day-to-day gonna be like? What is your morning routine with two kids? And then it changes again because the baby starts sleeping a little bit more.
14:13 Or maybe they're down at two naps a day instead of three naps, or it just, it changes. So you're, you're always adjusting to some transition and that's like motherhood in a whole on, that's motherhood in a nutshell right there.
14:28 You're always in a transition and some transitions are really hard and some are a little, a little smoother. Some are really great.
14:37 And you're like, wow, I'm so glad we transitioned out of a sleep sack, or I'm so glad we transitioned out of the two naps.
14:44 Now she takes one really good nap during the day, right? So transitions aren't always a bad thing, but back to going from one to two, two, I, maybe it's because of my experience with my niece and nephew who were those exact, they were exactly two years apart, almost to the day.
15:01 Actually they're born two days apart, two, two years, two days apart. So I babysat them a lot when I was pregnant with Ayla.
15:08 So maybe that, like, I had a sense of what it was like to be with two kids. I had the energy for it.
15:16 I, I I kind of knew what to expect, if you will. And then we have the transition from two to three.
15:27 Now , I cannot wait to get into the next little chapter of this. Okay? Let me tell you my experience.
15:34 Two to three. It is 2020, the world is shut down still, it is middle, beginning of the summer, but things are starting to get, I mean, I, I birth Blake, right?
15:46 I have Blake and now I have Rosie who is, how old was she? 20 months old. Not potty trained. She is a wild woman.
16:00 She is just, honestly, it was like a light switch when I brought Blake home from the hospital. Rosie became a different person.
16:07 like, and again, is it, is it because of Blake? Is it because of she's not the baby anymore. So is she sensing this is or is it just naturally what was, what was gonna happen?
16:22 Because she's a toddler, right? There's no way to tell. So anyways, it was hard. Ala was, has always been even like when she was two, when I brought Rosie home from the hospital, ALA has always been a helper, a leader.
16:39 And we tell her that all the time. Like, you are a great leader, you are very helpful, thank you. Like we just really honor her for that and applaud her and compliment her because we want our kids to all be leaders, all of them, and be a good example.
16:56 So without putting too much pressure on Ayla, we try to emphasize leadership for her because she does have a really important role in our family.
17:05 But anyways, she is, was great. Okay, so at this time I birth Blake Rosie's 20 months. Ayla is almost four.
17:13 She's not four yet though. So I have a three-year-old, a one-year-old and a newborn. That's a, I got my hands full.
17:19 And people told me that all the time, like, wow, you really have your hands full. I'm like, yes I do.
17:25 , I definitely do. So this transition was the absolute hardest for me. And I don't want that to scare you because I've heard so many stories from so many different moms and it's different for everyone.
17:41 This is just my experience, right? Because you heard me say, oh, zero to one was nothing. Oh, going from one and two, it was fine.
17:50 But you might have been in the trenches, right? You might have been like, this is the hardest thing of my entire life.
17:57 This was the hardest thing of my entire life transitioning from two to three. I don't know if it had to do with the timeframe that I gave birth or if my hormone levels were different after the third baby, after I had my third pregnancy.
18:12 Like, did my hormones take a huge hit? I did have postpartum anxiety for the first time, which you can listen more about.
18:21 I talked about mental health and postpartum anxiety. A couple episodes back. Make sure to go listen to that. It is a very important episode if you're pregnant, postpartum or have friends who are, I was having this anxiety and it wasn't even, it was just like complete overwhelmed.
18:38 Like, I just felt like I couldn't handle three kids. I was overwhelmed. Life was really hard. for at least the transition, the trans, I would call Justin and be like, you have to come home.
18:49 Like, I can't do this. He'd be at work. I need, I need you to come home. And he, and he would, it would take him a while, but he would come home early and I'm like, I just need an extra set of hands.
19:02 I can't, I, I'm struggling, I'm struggling. I can't do this, but it's really hard. I need help. It was harder for me to find the time to do very simple things like doing my skincare routine, taking a shower, eating.
19:19 I wasn't eating. Because when I did have a break from Blake from either breastfeeding, pumping, burping, diaper changing, bathing, I'd put her down.
19:30 Like let's say she's sleeping now I have Rosie who was wildling out and then Ayla who wanted to do a cry.
19:38 Like I felt like I had no time. It, I was just so spread thin. What's that phrase? Like I, I was like just pulled to my max.
19:51 Like with, I was spread too thin. Like my, i my, I did not have arms and legs and time in the day.
19:58 It was, it, it just felt so stressful. Now, ways that I dealt with that, I definitely got help in terms of like childcare.
20:11 I had a babysitter coming over two or three days a week. I just had to like really set my expectations low in terms of productivity.
20:22 Justin was very helpful in, I mean he always like is a great cook and cleaner in the kitchen. Like that is where he's at.
20:30 So that's taking care of. Yeah. And it was, it was the transition for sure. It was incredibly hard. , I was gonna say, but rewarding.
20:45 I mean, we're not there yet. We're still, I still feel like it's hard. Like sometimes I'm like, this is hard having three kids, do I regret it?
20:52 No. I love Blake Marie so much. Oh my gosh, I cannot imagine life without her. And I feel like a lot of you hear mom say that.
21:00 Like, I don't regret my kids. I love them so much, but it's hard. So that's where I'm at. I'm like, yeah, it's freaking hard and I have really, really good days where I'm like, let's have another.
21:11 And then I have days where I'm like, I can't even handle my my own kids. Why? What, what, what? Why would I, no, we can't get, we cannot get pregnant again, , I go back and forth.
21:24 So let's get into this a little bit more with this next chapter I was referring to. We, we all experience these transitions differently for a number of reasons.
21:37 Okay? Number one, the age of your kids matters so much because you could say like, oh, I transitioned from four or no, let's say Kim Perry transitions from three to four kids.
21:51 But guess what, Blake is eight years old. So imagine if I waited six more years , which is like, oh my gosh, how old will I be?
22:01 Can I even have kids that late in life? I don't know. But imagine if I transition from three to four but I waited until my youngest was eight and then I have a 10 and a 12 year old, what would, that would be totally different than someone who has four kids in four years, right?
22:18 So the ages matter so much. I think I figured out a formula to have smooth transitions and it's based off of age.
22:30 Okay? So stay with me here. If you have a baby and you're looking to go to two from one to two, the age gap at the time of birth should be two years.
22:45 Your only child should be two years when you give birth to your second. And then if you're looking to go from two to three and add a third child, your youngest should at the time of birth, should be three years old.
23:02 If you're having your third child, this is my theory, the more kids you have, the older your youngest child should be.
23:12 Does that make sense? So when you're going to add a third, the youngest or your second born should be three years old.
23:20 Cuz then that's giving them another year to gain independence. So you have two children, the other more independent when you're adding that third.
23:29 And then if you wanna have a fourth, that youngest should be four . In my head, again, this is just a theory that I would love to see it played out.
23:44 . If anyone wants to give it a try in the perfect world, let me know how it works out because in my head it makes sense because here I am like, well if Rosie had been three when Blake was born, it might have been easier.
23:58 She would have a whole year of toddlerhood underneath her hood, underneath her belt, you know what I mean? Like a whole nother year.
24:07 She would've been potty trained, she would've been just better able to communicate with us. I think that was a difficult thing when Blake was born.
24:16 She was only, you know, one and a half years old and still trying to figure out the world. So now I'm thinking, well if we have a fourth again with my, this is a theory and we waited until Blake was four.
24:33 Like I, which I can't even imagine right now. But I just think it would, it would just take a lot of the pressure cuz the younger your kids are, the more they need from you.
24:48 They, that's just facts. Like they are, they need you to eat, to drink, to go to the bathroom, to change their diaper, to change their clothes, to clean up after them, clean their room, put away their laundry.
25:00 Like as they get older, they're able to do those things just from the smallest point. Like they're able to pick up the food off of their highchair tray and eat it themselves.
25:10 And then eventually they can, you know, eat at the table with you. You don't even need a highchair. And then from there they can get their own snack, the independence.
25:20 And that could be over the course of like a year and a half that they go from highchair to like starting to get their own snacks.
25:29 Not even joking, like Blake was in the height chair at this time last year and now she knows where we keep the granola bars that she loves and if I kept them at a lower shelf, she could grab them.
25:40 She couldn't, maybe not open them, but Ayla could open 'em for her . So that's just my theory. Take it or leave it.
25:48 Think about it maybe, or maybe you, you like, you want your kids close in age and that's what's gonna work best for you and your family.
25:56 It's gonna make the most sense for you right now and that's what you want. That's what I wanted. I was like, I I'm 13 months younger than my sister, 13 months.
26:10 I think about that sometimes and I'm like, holy cow, my si my older sister was like barely walking when I was born.
26:20 What? That's crazy Mom. What? How did she do it? I have no idea. But I loved how close we, we were when we were younger growing up and my younger sister too.
26:31 Like we're all boom, boom, boom. And I, I wanted that for, for my own kids so that they would be close, they could play sports together, grow up together, like have the same friends and interests and just live life together and beyond that same playing field.
26:47 And then things just didn't go according to plan. So factor that in. Okay. Like sometimes things don't go according to your plan.
27:01 Fertility, I had a miscarriage in be in between Ayla and Rosie. I was going to have a baby, I was pregnant and I was due in June of 2018 and then I miscarried.
27:21 But if I had had that that pregnancy full term and had that baby ayla would've been four months younger, I quickly got pregnant after that.
27:33 But like things could have totally been different. So also I just like, I only mentioned that because I know I've had people like comment, mention like just inappropriately, like you can't wait too long to spa.
27:49 You can't space your kids out. Like you don't want 'em too far apart. I'm like, excuse, whoa, excuse me. Number one, why are you telling me what I can and can't do with my family?
28:00 Two, how can I e like I don't even have control over that to a certain degree. So I just wanted to throw that in there too.
28:10 If, if you feel pressured or maybe you're putting pressure on yourself to have your kids babies close in age, back to back, or maybe you want 'em spaced out perfectly, like it doesn't always happen.
28:25 Maybe you have an unplanned pregnancy that you were wanting to wait a little longer, that's okay too. Things don't always go according to plan.
28:33 And that's why my theory was literally just a theory. It's kind of a joke. Like honestly I don't think there's a perfect time.
28:42 Like it happens when it happens and you always figure it out. Like you will always figure out motherhood when you're in it though.
28:53 It's tough. There are challenges but you will make it out on the other side. So let that be a reminder here today.
29:02 You will get through this and you'll get through all of the future challenges that you face. And I love you remember that too.
29:09 Which brings me to my next point. It's hard. It might be hard now the transition might be really challenging, but it might be better or easier for you in the future versus someone who has an easy transition because their kids are five, six years apart and they have like a little kid and then like a tween.
29:32 Like that might be hard because they don't wanna play together or you know, they have you, they'll have different issues no matter how old are your kids, are what stage of life, life they're in.
29:42 Like there's always gonna be parenting hurdles, okay? And so think of this now, like this is your hurdle right now to get over so that you can have a nice little jog around the track until you get to your next hurdle.
29:54 So that was point number one. Two, so age matters. We might have challenges now, but that doesn't mean it's gonna be challenging forever.
30:00 It might actually mean it's gonna be easier in the future or vice versa, like you don't know. Which brings me to my next point.
30:09 My transition from two to three was hard, right? , yes, but I didn't have a big life altering transition from one to two.
30:22 Where are my friends? So I have friends that were like, no, no, no, Kim, that was not my experience from one to two rocked me, but two to three was easy.
30:31 And I'm like, what? So what I have found just from asking in conversations and hearing other moms, if you had now listen up.
30:39 If you had a hard transition from one to two, that might mean two to three is your easy transition because some people need to feel that disproportion from one to two of like, oh, it's just me and I have two kids, how am I gonna balance this?
30:57 And then they throw in a third and they're like, oh well I already figured out the balance, right? I don't know, there's something there with that.
31:04 And, and then people say that, well from if three to four was hard or if two to three was hard, three to four will be easy.
31:10 And I'm like, I don't know if that's true. Is that really true? I don't know, it could be. And then same thing, zero.
31:16 If zero to one was hard cuz it totally changed your life, then one to two might not be that bad because you're already in this mom mode, you're doing the dang thing, you just have an another, right?
31:31 So it, and like I said, it's different for everybody. So please don't have expectations and don't hold my truth, don't hold onto my truth and make that your reality if it doesn't have to be, if it could be easy for you, it was just, and and, and there's not a lot you can do to like change.
31:48 I mean like I can't go back and change how I felt in those moments or what it looked like on the day-to-day for me, but I can learn from it and I can maybe figure out like what, what could have been different that I could maybe share?
32:04 Like what story do I have that I could help other moms with? Like I don't wanna, I would never be like, ugh, never have three kids.
32:11 It is so much work, you're so lucky you only have one. Like how easy , which is not true at all.
32:19 It comes back to, again, our kids are all different. So I already mentioned how age impacts it. I also think your child be like behavior wise developmentally wise.
32:32 Skill wise it's gonna be different. We have like some people who have really, really independent toddlers, right? Who wanna do things themselves.
32:42 And that's cool because then when you have another baby, they can go in the snack drawer and grab the goldfish, right?
32:49 Which maybe sounds like a pain if they're going into the snack cabinet all the time. But also like, look at the flip side, man, that's, that's one less snack.
32:57 You have to serve them . So having independent kids, that makes a difference. Or maybe you have really needy kids that might make it harder.
33:06 So it, it's so many variables that go into transitions and I want you to know that we all feel challenge and difficulty at some level, to some degree at some point during motherhood.
33:21 So you are not alone if you're like him. I am just, I can't commit to another kid. I can't commit to another baby because I don't know if I can handle it, that's fine.
33:31 But my one thing I do have to say cuz I get messages like this all the time, like I'm, I'm pregnant with number three, I'm so scared.
33:39 Or like we wanna have another, but I don't think I can handle it. Like those sorts of things. And when it comes to making a decision based off of a transition or a bad experience with a transition, I always tell my friends, and I tell myself this, to never make your decisions on a bad day.
33:58 Like when you're in a bad mood and you're frustrated and nothing's working out and you're all, you're running late and you're just down on yourself like, I can't do this.
34:08 It's too hard. That's it, we're done. Like, I try not to make my decisions on those days. , I might say those things, but I have to remind myself like, listen, you can have a bad day.
34:22 It's, it's okay. It's actually normal and it happens often, but that doesn't make it a bad life and it doesn't mean you can't have a good life and you can't have another baby if that's something you want, right?
34:35 Because that's an, that's a struggle I have internally too is I want another, I do, but what about like, what if it's hard or what if like I have all those what if moments?
34:50 So I just wanna be able to make a decision if that day comes when we're like, we're making this decision right now, we're just in this nice free, clear space of like, we're, we don't have to make a decision right now, which is true.
35:02 We don't, there's no pressure, no decisions need to be made right now, but when the day comes that we do have to decide, I wanna be able to think clearly, freely, openly, with an open heart and mind and just say, is my family complete?
35:20 Or would we like to have another? Like, I want it to be made from that place versus, ugh, I'm done.
35:27 I can't do this anymore. Like an angry, frustrated place. Like I just, I just found that making decisions from that headspace isn't the best.
35:38 But I am happy to have this conversation with you today. It's, it's so interesting hearing everyone else's story. So I hope that was helpful.
35:46 Maybe hearing my stories and just how it was different. And keep that in mind. We are like, we will all have different experiences, so please don't expect or anticipate compare your, your transition to mind.
36:00 Like don't do that. Don't compare. You just have to own own our own experience, own your transition and move forward.
36:06 Like now, now I have three kids, so now we're transitioning into life with three children. Like, I feel like I don't have babies anymore.
36:16 All right? This has been so great chatting with you. Thank you for tuning into the year going podcast. I hope you're feeling good.
36:22 Drink up your water, go drink, sit up straight, stand up straight , and I'll see you the next episode. Bye.
