00:01 Hi. We are in the car right now. I like bringing you on these car rides. I don't know what it is about driving, but I get a lot of ideas.
00:09 I don't know if it has anything to do with the girls, like being strapped in their car seats. There's just some music on the background and my mind is able to sort through thoughts.
00:18 , I don't know, but I did just drop them off at preschool, so now it's quiet. It's just us and we are driving back home and I have a minute to chat with you.
00:29 So today I wanted to talk about New Year's resolution because they feel like a lot of times when we talk about goals, it gets cheesy.
00:35 It's like you gotta stick to it and don't give, I don't know, it can get cheesy, you know, you know.
00:42 So I just wanna talk about resolutions that I've made in the past, what I really want for next year as a resolution.
00:50 It's not so much a goal, it's more of just like, I guess this is how I would separate the two or differentiate a goal and resolution.
00:57 A goal is like a specific outcome or achievement that you want. Where a resolution is is more of like a, a shift in your lifestyle based on how you wanna live and who you wanna be.
01:09 Like I want to be an active person versus I wanna run a 5K and under 30 minutes. Like that's a goal.
01:17 And goals do have to be very specific, or they are supposed to be, I remember this when I was teaching, we had to set smart goals.
01:25 This was just like, I honestly, it was a waste of time. I get it. Like teachers should, or like any, any profession you should, you know, try and be better and like work towards, you know, being a better teacher or being a better doctor or being a better employee where wherever you're at, .
01:40 But this just took away so much time from the students. It just seemed silly to me. So anyways, we had to set smart goals and like the s stood for a specific, and the M stood for Measurable.
01:51 And that a, I think stood for attainable. I don't know. But basically it was like if you, if you say like, I wanna start running, that's not really a goal cuz you could just jog out of your door and like, that's running.
02:04 You just did it. Like goal achieved. What? No. So it had to be something like, I, like I mentioned you, I wanna run a 5K in under 30 minutes by April 30th.
02:16 So you can see it's measurable. There's a time limit on it, you know, all the things goal, that is a goal.
02:23 A resolution is like, I wanna be more active. You, you can still define what that's gonna look like. I wanna be more active.
02:29 What does that look like to you? Because active for Kim Perry might look different than active for my sister-in-law, you know, or you know, my neighbor or you or my mom.
02:41 Like, we all have different, different definition of, of these words. So let's get into it. One year I said and I remember, wait, let me guess it was 20, 20 17.
02:53 All right, we're going with it. That was like the first year that I was like, I am setting this resolution cuz I am so sick of my hair.
03:02 . That's what it was. I was like, you know what I, I know I am neglecting my hair care. I, for years and throughout college, I was like, I would get a trim maybe once a year.
03:14 I was using whatever I could find at Marshall's. Or like, like, I wasn't gonna say Target, but it was probably like Marshalls.
03:21 I was like buying their hair care stuff, which do not do, don't do that. don't do that. Buy like quality products.
03:30 So I kind of knew, I was like cutting corners and like saving money. Not, not intentionally, but like I was cheap.
03:37 I was being cheap about my hair and then I didn't like my hair and I, I knew I needed to start taking better care of it.
03:44 So it was 2017, I was like, I'm gonna get my hair done. Like not dyed or I mean occasionally. But I wanna use quality hair care products and I wanna be that person that when you leave your hair appointment, you book the next one for eight weeks or however long.
04:02 I want to go regularly. I want to be a person who takes care of their hair. I, you know, using heat protect and spray before styling, I wanna have nice hair tools.
04:15 So this was something I worked on over time. But I did stick with it into this day. Like that is, that is what I do.
04:24 It is side note. It has been tricky since moving to Florida to find a new hair stylist. And other than that, outside of that I have, I take great care of my hair.
04:35 It could always be better, right? So that was the first resolution. I said we did it, we committed, it happened.
04:41 It was like small things over time and it was something that I could easily maintain. Another year I was pregnant with Rosie and I was like, I need to start taking better care of my skin.
04:53 Like I was buying Neutrogena face wash and if I ran out of that for some reason I would just use hand soap on my face.
05:02 And I was like, oh, my skin always feels so dry, but it's so oily but it's dry and it was just not making any sense.
05:10 And so that was 2018. I was just doing it like, actually it was before I was pregnant with Rosie. I was like, I need to take better care of my skin.
05:18 I know this to be true. And then after I got pregnant, I really started to do deep dives on like what products to use and whatnot.
05:28 And like I learned that the skin is the largest organ on your body and it absorbs everything. And so if you're pregnant using these products, everything is going straight into your baby.
05:36 And like I was actually thinking about it cuz Ayla at the time was one and a half years old. She's now able to climb on surfaces, touch everything.
05:46 And Justin was big into Windex and he would use so much Windex on our counter. It burned my eyes. But also I was like, oh my gosh, what if, what if Ayla puts her mouth on on that surface that has just been cleaned with Windex.
06:01 I was just like started freaking out about it. So my skincare resolution turned into non-toxic products resolution. Hmm. That's kind of interesting.
06:14 So I'm just like thinking out loud here. I, yeah, I switched actually I started using Pure Haven, which if you've heard of this brand, it is like a MLM direct to consumer or as now they call it social selling company .
06:33 I just love their products. I didn't, I started using them cuz it was my cousin who introduced me and like I loved the skincare set.
06:43 Like you had your face washed. First of all, I just loved it because I did not have anything before other than hand soap and Neutrogena like whatever.
06:52 I would use body lotion on my face. Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm had like, and not like a good body lotion.
06:58 I loved the set and it was like a cleanser, the toner, the hyaluronic, the eye cream and the moisturizer. Oh my gosh, I remember I loved, loved it.
07:07 And it was my first like go around at taking care of my skin and it felt, my skin felt better.
07:13 I felt good. I knew the ingredients were great. Like ugh. Just loved it. And then like I said, the non-toxic products, I started buying those, I started like reading labels of this stuff, which is like kind of a pain because we like, we're already reading food labels now we gotta read the makeup labels and the soap labels and the counter spray label like Antibacteria whatever.
07:37 Ugh. But listen, I'm so glad I made the shift. I feel better about it. I'm still like not a hundred percent there in terms of like non-toxic I'm not super crunchy basically I'm just not .
07:54 Like I'm pretty chewy. I'm not , I don't know what other word to use, but I'm not like hardcore at any of this stuff.
08:02 I just try my mess. Hair skincare and then like home stuff. Like those are huge changes to make. And it does take time.
08:12 Because here's the thing, if you try, if, if someone walked into my house today and they're like, we're gonna dart fresh on, you know, your home is full of toxic stuff and they like removed everything, yes it would feel good at the beginning and they're like, here's what to use.
08:26 But as soon as they left and it started to feel unattainable, whatever it might be, maybe it's like a fitness thing we're talking about.
08:31 Like you're like, I'm gonna commit to like going for daily walks and I'm gonna work out and I'm gonna do yoga.
08:38 Like, and you had someone come in and help you and you set up a room in your house and like you've got all the new gear, like that's, it feels so cool and it adds extra motivation.
08:48 But as soon as that stuff's like fizzles away like that, that feeling, that spark, it's hard to maintain. So it's easier if you are able to add these things in gradually over time where yes, upfront, making a big shift sounds exciting, but it's not always lasting.
09:05 It's not gonna be there for the long run. Does that make sense? So let's talk about this. Year's resolution has nothing to do.
09:11 has absolutely nothing to do with my hair or my skin or non-toxic products. . And it actually happened because Justin recently brought Ayla on a trip to New York.
09:23 I was actually, I was gonna go with the girls, it was kind of last minute. I was like, ah, let me just look.
09:29 Should I go? We should go. Well it'll just be spontaneous. Didn't end up going because I was like, no, I have way too much to do.
09:35 I waited to pack ALA's stuff because honestly no reason. I was like, I'm just gonna do it the day before.
09:42 Why? Why do it sooner? Like then we have a suitcase full of stuff. I was like, I'll just do the day before I start packing at like five o'clock at night.
09:50 , they're leaving at five o'clock in the morning and I'm looking, she has no warm clothes. She has a couple pairs of leggings, pair of jeans, pair of like flair, yoga pants, some long sleeve.
10:04 But we do not own a winter jacket because, and I thought about this at first, I was mad at myself.
10:09 I was like, why didn't I save all their winter gear hats, mittens, winter jackets number one, Ayla hasn't worn a winter jacket in two years because she did not wear one at all.
10:19 Last winter we were in Florida, we did not go anywhere cold. And the year before that was our last winter in Massachusetts.
10:27 She was four years old. So picture the jacket. She wears a four year old now trying to wear it as a six year old.
10:33 Two years later she's two years taller. No way. So anything I would've had would maybe fit Rosie and Blake maybe, but I was a little hard on myself for like, I was like, what about the hats?
10:43 What about the men's? Why did they do this? I would've had to just store it for two years because we did not need it.
10:50 I don't know. Anyways, so I go out to Target at six o'clock on a Tuesday night looking for winter jackets, hats and mittens and snow boots in Florida.
11:04 Do you think I found any ? Gee, I was just like, why didn't I, why didn't I do this sooner?
11:11 Why didn't I order this stuff on Amazon? And then the last question, why do I always do this to myself?
11:18 Why am I always out the night before something rushing around, scrambling because I didn't do it sooner because I waited till the last minute.
11:28 And these are always more like personal things, not like personal, like can't talk about it personal like like family trips or oh we're, I'm gonna get my pictures, I'm gonna have family pictures taken tomorrow and like the literally the day before I'm out looking for clothes.
11:45 Why ? Like why does this happen? I'm trying to decide that. Does it matter why it happens? Maybe, maybe not.
11:55 I think it matters just because if I know why I'm either avoiding it or why what's preventing me from doing it sooner, then I'll be able to make this resolution and stick with it.
12:06 So this is my resolution for next year. I don't want to wait till last minute for things. I want to do things in advance so that I can relax and just pack or relax and just enjoy the holiday that's coming up.
12:19 You know what I mean? Like I wanna have things done sooner. So I do have, I was able to kind of indicate a couple of reasons why.
12:28 So a couple things. One, I'm in denial of how much time I have. Like I really do believe that I have plenty of time like oh I can do that tomorrow.
12:37 I am so good at like pushing things off. Not necessarily procrastinating, not cause I don't wanna do it, but because like there are other important things I have to do today.
12:47 Like that's how I feel. For example, like today I'm thinking I gotta film workouts, I like laundry. I'm like, I don't have to do that right now.
12:55 I could do that later. I could, I could put that away. Yes, it's clean, it's folded, it's in the basket, I can put it away.
13:01 I don't have to do it right now. I have other important things to do right now where it's like that's not necessarily true.
13:07 I could do it right now. How long does it really take you to put away laundry? Four minutes less, maybe more?
13:13 I don't know. Depends on how much is in the laundry. Okay, so I have this weird illusion of time and thinking I don't have enough when really I, I do, especially when it comes to preparing for a trip or an event.
13:28 Might be a photo shoot, might be a trip, might be we're hosting something at our house. You know, honestly right now I gotta go home and get a pen cuz I'm thinking about all the things I have to do .
13:37 And I'm like, I don't wanna do these all now before it gets too close to whatever my next thing is.
13:43 All right. So that's number one. Number two, I, I think it has a lot to do with buying things online or buying things in general.
13:51 I hate the feeling of like, we need something so just get it because we need it. Like I am a like, I like to shop around , which I don't have time for or maybe I do, I have to look into that.
14:05 But like, I like to shop around. Oh is it on Amazon? Well let me look at Target. It might be on sale at Target.
14:11 Let me check their weekly ad. Let me check the target circle app. Oh is there a better one? Wait, let me see if someone posted a link to it.
14:19 I, I remember seeing the summer, like that's what my mind does. Like I'm jumping all over the place and then I'm like, well let me read the reviews.
14:25 Ugh. And then I hate buying things online cuz if I'm buying a winter jacket for Ayla for example, and I cannot feel it, I can't touch it, I can't hold it up, I can't have her try it on and then returning it when it doesn't fit.
14:37 Ugh. That is like the worst thing ever. So buying things online has been, I feel resistance to that. So we're gonna work on that.
14:44 Maybe I could, this is one thing I try to do anyways and I'll share, I try to only buy stuff that I Know I, I can return in the store example, target , if I buy it online, it doesn't fit, I don't like it.
14:58 I can just drive it to the store and return it. Amazon returns, everyone's like, they're so easy. No I don't know how to do them still.
15:04 You have to like go on your phone and like print something out or go to the store like and what's the Kohl's ?
15:12 I don't know, it's confusing. I have not had good luck with returning things and that's just what works for me.
15:20 Finding a store that I know I can return, American Eagle, target even Walmart, old Navy, h and m we have those near us.
15:28 So like I would feel comfortable ordering stuff from there and then doing it earlier so that I have time to receive the item.
15:36 Like cuz the shipping, you know, might take over a week. I can receive it and decide then if it fits, if it's a good option and then return it if I need to by another, if I need to.
15:48 But yeah, this is something I'm gonna work on preparing in advance, not the night before. Like I really in 2023 do not wanna be, if I book a trip, which I have one trip planned.
16:00 Okay, wait. Another thing, another indicator, another reason why I know this is hard for me is when I do things too early in advance, I'm worried I'm gonna change my mind or some, something is gonna change in between now and then.
16:11 So for example, we're going to Massachusetts next September for my brother-in-law's wedding. What if the girls grow between now and then and I order them all like cute little matching travel outfits.
16:21 Like n I feel like it's way too far in advance. Styles change so much in 10 in the course of 10 months, you know.
16:29 My taste will change, the girls taste in size will change. So that's a little tricky. Number two, I'm like, well what if I'm pregnant?
16:38 Not saying that, I am not saying that I'm gonna be, but my mind goes there. I'm like, what if I'm pregnant?
16:44 What the heck dress am I gonna wear? What clothes? Like I, it's just it putting those thoughts in your mind like really like makes things kind of crazy.
16:53 Holy cow. That would be any moving on from that, I don't wanna think about that. But even like little things like what if I change my mind?
17:01 So the thought of like doing something early in advance for that trip, even if it's as small as like picking out matching hats for us all to wear.
17:08 Like there's so much I could change and I don't know what it is about like commitment cuz I enjoy being committed to something and knowing insecurity of knowing that, you know, my items are picked out and everything's there, but feel like it's scary thinking that you aren't allowed to change your mind and that's not true.
17:26 You can change your mind but then it's like, well did I just waste a hundred dollars on this cuz I don't want anymore.
17:33 I can't return. I don't know. Okay, we're gonna work on this. We are, we're gonna work on this. I didn't really get into like how to stick with your resolution other than, you know, doing it over time and in small steps.
17:46 If that's something you'd wanna talk more about, like setting goals and achieving them or goals that I've set in the past versus resolutions.
17:54 I'd love to hear what your resolutions are. Anything you're looking for in 2023? I do wanna do another episode where I talk more about the mood for the year, the vibe for the year affirmations or you know, power words for the year.
18:08 I don't know, I'm so excited. I love having like a fresh start and New Year always does that. But some, you know what, sometimes it doesn't and that's okay.
18:17 Sometimes it doesn't feel that fresh at the beginning. , especially when you're in the dead of winter. It can be tough if you're in the throws of motherhood and the days just feel the same.
18:27 I get it. Like it is hard to find that like new f newness, the freshness and the day to day .
18:36 Well maybe that'll be another episode. Let me know and let me know if you have a resolutions goals and I'd love to chat more about that.
18:44 All right, thank you for tuning in. I'm excited for 2023 and I want you to hold me accountable to my resolution of not waiting till the last minute.
18:52 All right, we got this. I'll see you in the next one. Bye.
